MTV music video awards

What a waste of fucking time. Its my own fault though, every year I tell myself not to stay up and watch them because they aren't very good, but no, every year I stay up and watch them and waste my evening. I was really hoping Jack Black was going to bring the thunder, but even he sold out. bleh

Ran 3.3 miles tonight. Didn't time myself because the first mile was with the dog, and that doesn't lead to speedy times, the dog needs to relieve herself every other house for some reason. No boozin tonight either, after the run I didn't really feel like it.

Thursday ABC-0
Thursday Exercise-3.3 miles

Save the drama...

Well its all over with. No big storm, barely any rain, and very little wind. However, we did get a day and a half off of work, which is something I will not complain about. Yesterday we were only in for about 2 hours, then we all left and went to the the movie BeerFest. It was funny, definitely worth watching. We did some boozin before the movie and I had a couple after, which didn't put me in any mood to do my run. That will be tonight's project since we don't have bowling.

Wednesday ABC- 8. 7 beers, 1 shot of Cuervo Black(it was delicious)

12011 "Fort Knox" Manor

Today I got everything buttoned down for Ernie. Locked up all the loose stuff on the outside of the house, pulled "suck my wake" outta the water so she doesn't float away, dropped down the shutters on the big windows, and put up the shutters around the porch. Cruella came home from work early and made me put up shutters on the front of the house too. All in all in took about 2.5 hours. I bitched and moaned when she made me put up the front ones, but at least she helped, and she is probably right, 2.5 hrs of easy labor is better than 3 weeks of hassle if the storm turns really shitty. Dammit I hate it when she makes good points. Either way, I feel that we are overprepared, but that's what you get for living in Minnesota most of your life.."better safe than sorry". The bottom picture is too show you prestorm, and I hope to get out there during the worst of it to show an example during the storm, but we will see if Mother Hen lets me out. Now I am bored off my ass. At least the electricity hasn't gone out yet. More beer here!

Tuesday Exercise: Lifted, Put up shutters(the whole time I was singing the chorus to the popular CB4 ditty "Sweat o' my Balls"
Tuesday ABC: 5 beers so far.

82 degree snow day

As a child going to miserable school, in the frozen atmosphere of Minnesota, one always hoped for a snow day during the winter. At least I did. It meant that you would have to stay home from school, and do absolutely nothing. More than likely the teachers didn't have any homework planned for you in advance because the snow days were unexpected, so you could hang out all day without a care in the world. Since I wasn't a city kid, I couldn't go hang out with my friends, but that also meant I didn't have to argue with my parents about whether or not it was safe to traverse across town when the weather was so shitty that they wouldn't let us go to school. As a sometimes adult living in tropical southern Florida snow days are a thing of the past, but we have the next best thing: Hurricane days. They have to issue a Hurricane Warning 24 hours in advance of a hurricane. Once a warning is issued the place where I work has to shut its doors. Although we aren't under a warning yet, I called the hurricane hotline at work and they said we would be closed today. That is just peachy, I am keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow as well. The best part of this whole deal is that since it is only a tropical storm, I don't think I will have to put up my hurricane shutters. Now, my poor wifey had to go into work today because her business is a pain in the ass when it come to hurricanes, so she might still unleash her bitterness on me this afternoon and request that I put shutters up to get back at me. But we will see. I am hoping that they will let her out of work today at noon. So what to do today? I got my exercise in yesterday, the house is clean, we have all our supplies....is 8:04 to early to crack a beer?

Monday ABC-Nothing
Monday Exercise- 2.2 miles at a rate that could only be comparable to that of a 3 legged hippo. But at least its done.

Tropical Storm Ernesto

First of all, what the hell kind of name is Ernesto for a tropical storm/hurricane? Its not exactly a name that strikes fear in hearts of many. Although Wilma wasn't exactly a great name either, and she royally fucked us over last year. Tonight I went and filled the vehicles with gas and filled up a few more gas cans. I have been pretty good this year about filling them up. Right now I have 40 gallons of gas, which is enough to run the generator for 80 hours. Which is substantially more prepared then I was last year, without a generator or gas. I also went and stocked up on groceries and more importantly beer. The end of the world syndrome hasn't hit down here quite yet but I am sure the next few days will be chaotic and 99% of the population will be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. That's all for now, I have to go check on the wife, she just ran a mile for the first time in over a year, and I might need to resuscitate her.

Saturday ABC-8. 5 beers, 3 rum/cokes.
Sunday ABC- Nothing

Not gonna cut it.

Yesterday I didn't do much of anything. I was almost too hungover to have a beer with supper last night, almost. I was supposed to lift yesterday but I wasn't really up to it, so the wife and I went out to eat, bought the first season of the Office and watched a few episodes of that, and crashed out. A wild Friday night. Since I was overcome with guilt about not doing any exercise Thursday and Friday, I figured I would make up for it this morning. I went out and mowed the lawn, took the dog for a 1 mile bike ride, and ran 2.07 miles(according to g-maps pedometer, I on the other hand, feel it was closer to 10 miles). The sad part is , is that I ran that in 19:57. Granted, I was dodging parked vehicles, and I was out mowing the yard in the hot sun an hour before that, but 10 minute miles aren't going to cut it. Jess, you can stop training entirely because you have me beat...or do you?

Friday ABC-4
Saturday exercise-1 hr. Mow Lawn, 1 mile bike ride with dog, 2.07 miles run.
Saturday ABC-TBD

Dumbest thing I have seen today.

When are you getting yours, Jon?

Video Friday

Fire Marshall Bill

Bowling is over.

Thank the little baby Jesus. I have had enough. It was a fun season. We ended up tied for third with the Pinderellas. Which I guess is probably better, because now we don't have to feel bad about beating a bunch of girls, or getting beat by a bunch of girls.
Another thing that is dandy about bowling being over is the fact that Thursday won't be as heavy a drinking night. This morning was/is a rough one. That fuckin donkey came back last night....


and danced a jig on my forehead. Once again, the wife and the dog did nothing to help me out. Then I believe my cat decided to curl up and sleep in my mouth, right after urinating in my eyes. Sometimes it feels as if the entire animal kingdom is against me.
Other than a rude headache, itchy eyes, atrocious cottonmouth, and a growly bowely(that is pushing out scents that would be at home somewhere in the Degobah system)I feel fine.






Thursday ABC-7 3 Rum/cokes,2 Seven/Sevens,1 beer, 1 screwdriver(the screwdriver was the nail in the coffin, we could probably count it as 3 screwdrivers, but we won't.)

Health Screening

This morning I took the annual Health Screening at work. It consisted of measurements such as height, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol. Its free, and it never hurts for a person who drinks as much as I do to have their blood pressure and cholesterol checked as much as possible. Usually they have this holier than thou little questionnaire that you have to fill out about your lifestyle, exercise, and eating habits. Then once you fill it out accurately, they email you back and tell you what improvements you can make to be a better person. I always fill it out accurately and was looking forward to filling it out this year because I have been keeping better track of my drinking(not drinking less mind you), eating better, and the last 3 weeks, actually exercising. But alas, no such quiz this year. Oh well, I guess I will just count myself as a person at the epitome of wellness.

Wednesday ABC-Zero
Wednesday Exercise- 30 minutes on bike, slower than usual, only 9 miles.

Stupid Blogger

I had a clever post all written up and everything shut down. No charming wit for you.

Tuesday ABC= 4 Beers
Tuesday Exercise= Lift chest/triceps, Run 1 Mile.

26 days....

until I whoop Jess's ass at that 5K.


Monday ABC-0
Monday Exercise- 10 miles on Bike, 1 mile walking.

bleh

This is gonna be a rough one. Last night we all went to the Poison/Cinderella concert and rocked out. It was an excellent show, but it was just too late to stay up on a Sunday night. The ole engine isn't exactly running at 100% today. I am fresh out of clever wit as well, so I will just give ou the tallys and call it good.

Thursday ABC- 11
Friday ABC- 9
Saturday ABC- 6
Sunday ABC- 10

This is prt 2 of my exercise program to prepare for the 5k. I find it more exciting than plain ol running on the treadmill.

OkGo

This is the workout I have been doing to prepare for the big 5k. It is working excellently.

Jim Carrey - Workout

Kids in the Hall - Smoking Your Son's Pot

Video Friday

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Well, as far as the night of bowling is concerned I believe we pulled out a second place finish, by 2 pins. We'll fuckin take it though. A harsh year for bowling, and that is a fact. It was a good time though. The 3 teams that had ties to our department at work finished 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and that is awesome. Now we are trying figure out where to unleash our mad skillz next.

On to other news, I may have wrote a check with my mouth that my ass can't cash. I decided that Jess and I should have a friendly competition at the next 5k she runs. She is an avid runner, and I am the direct opposite. I hate running with every fiber of my body. Being the good samaritan that I am, I figured it would be good for her to have a run with a member of the bowling team that beat her in league. You know, to help motivate her for her marathon and all. Here are the stakes: The loser pays the winners race entry fees. Winner is determined by whoever beats thier PR. Jess's is 29:52, mine is 28. This all looks good on paper, but what if both of us beat our PR's? That is something for the fans to decide I guess. We will be looking forward to your suggestions.

2nd place...Out!

busy day at work

I moved the quote bar to the top of the page, and added 37 new quotes for your viewing pleasure.

Treadmill Bike

This is for all the people that complain about running on a treadmill indoors. Your problem has been solved!

Camp Sobriety is over

That's right, 3 days, no alcoholic beverages. Almost a new record. Tonight is bowling, so it won't be 4 days in a row. 3 days is pretty good though. Monday I rode bike for 30 minutes, Tuesday I lifted, and last night I got off my lazy ass and went for a 2 mile run. The sad part is that it took me close to 22 minutes. Fast I am not. It felt as though I was running with a teenage hippopotamus strapped to my back. My legs hurt like hell today, but it was still better then riding that damn bicycle. My nacho still hurts from riding that damn thing. That's it for now, off to daydream about drinking.

Drunken Friend Alarm Clock

Never pass out, outside at a party.

Simple Test

No Beers Here

I had a nice sit down talk with my pounding head and acheing liver yesterday morning and we decided maybe it would be time for a nice break from the booze. So starting yesterday I am going on a short wagon ride to camp sobriety. Mind you, this will certainly not be a weekend stay. Just until bowling on Thursday. Bowling sober is generally not a good idea, and I really don't want to test those waters. So, we will see how the next two days go. It was supposed to be a lifting night last night, but after lifting on Friday my body felt like it was almost drawn and quartered by the Budwieser Clydesdales. The stationary bike was my tool of torture yesterday evening, 30 minutes, then I took the hell hound for a one mile walk. That was all I could handle, so I watched the finale of Hells Kitchen and went to bed. I am a wild and crazy guy.

ABC=Nothing

Planes, No Trains, and Automobiles

So my wife went out of town this weekend to attend her 10 yr class reunion, leaving me with many hours of free time on my hands. Now given this situation, you might think to yourself, hmmm...lots of free time, no wife, what is a man to do? I could've gone to strip clubs, consumed copious amounts of illicit drugs, drank myself silly, hung out with loose women, and watched endless hours of pornography. Nope, besides drinking myself silly one of those nights, I didn't participate in any of these titillating activities. I pretty much dorked out this weekend. I went to the hobby shop on Saturday and bought some things I needed for my radio controlled gas truck, and I bought a new rc plane. I then got my gas truck running and went and hung out with a buddy and raced around the parking lot for about an hour.

Saturday night I assembled the plane and got it ready to fly. Sunday I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn and went and flew the plane before it got too windy(no crashes).

After that I went to the Rc Car track and raced on the track for about 2 hours(no broken parts). Then I came home and last night I raced my Mini Z with a buddy for about an hour.

It is probably a wonder I am married at all with activities such as these.

ABC Friday- 4 Beers
ABC Saturday- 7 Beers
ABC Sunday- God only knows(I think 8 beers and 2 whiskey cokes, but its pretty fuzzy)

Video Friday

Idiots behind the wheel

I can honestly say I never have been this wasted.

Fuck Bowling

and that is all I have to say about that.

ABC- 7: 4 rum/cokes, 3 beers

Willpower 0, Alcohol 4

My willpower is a fickle mistress. She can be so strong about some things(waking up early to go hunting, exercise, doing chores, blah, blah, blah) but when it comes in contact with the sweet caress of alcohol, it turns as weak as a schoolgirls knees after her first kiss. So yeah, I had some delicious beers last night and they tasted great. The first half beer washed away any lingering guilt about drinking and I was back to my old form. Tonight is bowling, so beers will be had, my wife is out of town until Monday, so beers will definitely had, so it looks as though I went one day this week without alcohol. Eh, what can ya do?


Willpower concerning anything but drinking


Willpower when alcohol is involved

An epic battle....

Today at work we were forced against our will to attend an "Intro to Statistics" class. This phenomenal waste of time drained at least a year, if not two, off of my life. Its not that statistics aren't important, they just aren't important to me. So pretty much the first thing I thought about when I got home from work was popping open an ice-cold, carbonated, refreshing, 12 ounces of liquid joy. However, I resisted. Instead I started supper, rode the stationary bike in heat comparable to the 7th level of Hades, took the dog for a bike ride, showered, and ate supper. Now my belly is full, I am somewhat clean, and I hear the beer fairy calling my name. Since I did a little bit of boozin last night at bowling practice, I don't really feel justified in being able to drink again tonight(I am trying to cut back during the week, apparently drinking an average of 5.6 beers a night is NOT good for you). However, I do feel justified in the fact I have already exercised and completed my chores. Decisions, decisions, sometimes it is hard to be me.

Monday ABC- Nuthin
Tuesday ABC- 3, 2 shots Tequila, 1 shot wild turkey/151. Stupid losing at bowling.
Wednesday ABC- Undetermined at this point

Oriental Nut Crunch Game Show

The first guy is pretty boring, after that it gets very funny. Sound is recommended for your viewing pleasure.

Crazy little fellas.

So much for.....

Blogging everyday. My only excuse is the wifey has been hogging the computer in order to get her finals done for her Masters Degree. Yeah , that's all I got. You haven't missed much anyways. Went and saw Talladega Nights on Friday night. Its good, just as good if not better than Anchorman. Saturday the Wife and I went out and celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Sunday I hung out with friends and got drunk. So there you go. Last night, no drinkey drinkey. I actually lifted weights, for the first time in at least 4 months, and rode the stationary bike for 35 minutes. After all that I didn't really feel like having a beer. Stupid exercise.

Friday ACB:5 beers
Saturday ACB: 6 (4 beers, 2 glasses of champagne)
Sunday ACB: 9 beers
Monday ACB: 0

Ricky Bobby: "If my MTV career doesn't work out, I was thinking i'd start selling crack. I would be like a laid back crack dealer, though. Nothing too formal. I'd just be like 'Hey boys, how's it going? Want some crack?'"

Video Friday

Bowling Night

We won 7 out of 9 points tonight. One of our best nights this year. The wailing harpies from last week were a lane down so their interference meant nothing to us this night. I didn't exactly bowl a stellar series(139,141,133) but it was right about my average so I cannot complain. I have been getting some static from the fans about not blogging everyday, so I have decided to try and rectify the situation. I will be blogging every day at this point, but some days might just be random thoughts(not novelesque pieces like the young lady at (http://twentyonedayhabit.blogspot.com/yes Jess, I still remain clueless on the hyperlink, God save my soul)) So here goes:

Nordy: bowled a 254 straight game tonight. 8 strikes in a row. Awesome
Helmet: One of the best bands I never listened to until recently.
5 year wedding anniversary: nervousness, cuz I am not sure where to take the lady out.
Totinos 3 cheese pizza: in a word, awful. Totinos pizzas is one of the best inventions ever, but they really fucked up the recipe for this one.
Wild Hound: always happy to see you no matter how shitty you bowled.

That is all for now.

Tuesday ABC: 8 (7 beers, 1 whiskey coke
Wednesday ABC: nuthin
Thursday ABC: 8 (2 beers, 5 rum/cokes, 1 goldshlager shot)

New Month

August already. I started out on a high point on the first, which made the second a bit of a bear. I found out some good news on Tuesday, which was cause for a celebration on Tuesday night. A few beers here, a few beers there, a dozen chicken wings(not really a good food to fill the belly and absorb beers), and couple more beers, and whiskey/coke, all make for a rumbly tummy and a rude headache the next day. I coulda swore that same fuckin donkey came in and kicked me in the head again on Tuesday night, but the wife claims she neither saw nor smelled any donkeys, so it must have been her that punched me in the head while I was sleeping and gave me that awful headache. So needless to say I didn't feel like having any beers last night. I even tried out this new thing that I read about on the internet the other day. Its called cardiovascular conditioning. The point of it is to do exercise that makes you sweat and gets your heart pumping. It's pretty much the polar opposite of beer drinking. I tried it out anyways. I rode the stationary bike for 30 minutes last night, in a garage with a temperature so high the devil himself would be jealous. I think I sweat out the remains of every beer that I have consumed in the last week. All to start over again at bowling tonight. One step forward, two steps back.