Miller's First Nightcap

actually it was more of a 3a.m. cap, but whatever time it was it worked. Jim Beam works on babies gums. He woke up pissed off at 3, and I had tried just about everything...The boy didn't want to be held, didn't want to be put down, didn't want the lights on, didn't want the lights off, didn't want any liquid, just wanted to be a miserable cuss. He had a slight fever, so we gave him some tylenol, he was coughing like a 20 year smoker, so we gave him some cough medicine, still not happy. Finally I had enough, my Mom had been hinting at rubbing whiskey on his gums for the last couple of weeks, so we decided to give it a shot. Dipped my finger in the shot glass of Jim Beam and rubbed it on his bottom gums. Finger was a little wetter than necessary, so he probably go a few more drops on the first round than he needed, but he didn't make any faces.(earlier in the night we tried to give him some 7-up, and the face he made after that, made me think that I accidently bought the cat-shit flavored 7-up). After another couple swipes of the gums, we were done. We went and sat on the porch and rocked while staring at Erin's glowing balls, and about 5 minutes later he was out. I could just be the whiskey, or it could have been the cocktail of cough medicine, tylenol, and whiskey, but whatever it was it worked. Hopefully tonight goes better, because I don't want all you perverts waiting outside my porch at 3 in the morning hoping to catch a glimpse of me in my tighty-whiteys.